Newtown: Open letter to those touched by shooting

Two-year-old Addison Strychalsky of Newtown, Conn., pets Libby, a Lutheran Church Charities comfort dog, days after the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. /AP photo by David Goldman

I grew up in Connecticut. My heart will forever grieve for the shattered families of Newtown.

On top of a torment that will never go away, you face a terrible choice: silence or martyrdom.

Avoiding the spotlight is surely the safest way to guard your families against the pain associated with the loss of your children. In terms of human suffering, you have endured enough. You have no obligation to risk more.

As today's release of the local police 911 tapes has shown, if the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings become the icon of unbearable gun violence, then a reliving of the event will be part of the bargain. Your story could be a catalyst for change, creating something positive out of a hideously negative event. But the story would be told again and again.

Some of you want silence. Others want some gain to come out of a horrendous loss.

So much was taken out of your control. And more shocks will surely come: the Connecticut State Police tapes, the five-year anniversary, the 10-year anniversary, the stray revelations.

It would not be easy, but there is a conscious step you could take. Your 20 families share an unwanted bond. You can bear that bond in clans of silence or martyrdom. Or you can come together and choose a shared path.

As the situation stands now, periodic media frenzies are inevitable.

You are public figures who wish nothing more than a return to the private lives you had before Dec. 14, 2012. It is a terrible burden no one should have to bear.